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 Following
our exposure of the hopeless antics of the bungling ambulance
drivers we bring you a further shocking expose. You thought that
the stretcher monkeys were a soft target for inaccurate,
sensationalist TV journalism. Just wait till we get our
manicured paws on the lollipop ladies.
Why
do they call themselves “school crossing patrols”?
Most of the time they lurk on busy roads a street or two
away from schools. Most of the time they only walk to the center
of the road, not crossing it at all. What do they patrol?
Have you ever seen one of them draw their gun?
Driving
around in our mid range BMWs we used our investigative skills to
find that some of these so-called lollipop ladies were in fact
retired MEN.
We
found one murderous hag who was not even wearing a hat.
Airline
pilots receive six years training.
One concerned parent was shocked to learn that the
fraudster helping her twelve-year-old car thief across the road
received LESS THAN SIX HOURS training. This included a buffet
lunch and an early Friday finish at the cycle proficiency centre.
We
found one crossing patrol chatting with parents at a zebra when
she was supposed to be at work. Disgusting.
Worse
still was the shock discovery that some of these scroungers even
receive an ex-gratia allowance of £26 per year, and do other
work to boost their greedy income.
We thought that ambulance
crews were the most evil faction of society. But no.
It is Dear Mavis Lollypop and her nationwide network of
kind people. They
are worse than paramedics. Ugh!
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