Training Bulletin 46984/ 2001

New Extended Training Orders ETO 12

As we have nothing better to do with our money, and we are slaves to the giants of corporate identity it has been decided to scrap all our headed paperwork, and replace it with some more expensive stuff.  With immediate effect. OK ?

This will make our correspondence indistinguishable from The Bart's & London NHS Trust, Uncle Tom Cobbley & all NHS Trusts.  You get the idea!

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Right. Now we have spent all that money and look so much more "corporate" here it is - ETO 12 

Paramedics and Technicians qualified after January 1^st 1987  may implement

Canalulation Therapy for certain categories of callers.  These are;

·        Anyone named Emilia

·        Callers who ring more than six times in any single shift

·        Patients who miraculously live very near a hospital and are only ill or injured after closing time

·        Punters too stupid to realise that the "we are not a taxi" poster is directed at them

The procedure for Canalulation is quite simple.

1.        Ensure that the citizen fits one of the criteria listed above.

2.        Beat them savagely into submission

3.        Dump them in the nearest canal

Canalulation should not be documented on any PRF nor any record made of any unsuccessful canalulation attempt.

Dr H Shipman

Titanic Steering Committee www.lasunofficial.co.uk